When people think I'm a player, How much I'd hope that you'd NEVER every believe a word of that.

When I say I did not do any things you'd mention, I deeply hope you'd know and believe I didnt.

You had changed. The way you talk to me and how you treat me with your words and actions are just making me sad.

Purple. You did this to me

Silent Treatment.
that is how a girl signals you to fuck off.
they'd think this is how to get out of trouble.
but this is how a girl can hurt a guy very very much.

girls can be this mean. girls can be this hurtful.
when we guys care. they forget that we do.
when we stop caring, they'd just say we never ever do.
when we are by your side, you just ignore our existence.
when we are gone, we are just remembered.
we try our best to do things for you girls, but its never enough.

can someone show me. how things are done?
can someone tell me. how things suppose to be?

when u have doubt. ask ur heart.
wat u really need.is it a confirmation answer from
someone else.or u already knew wat will it be
but u are afraid to face it?
and.hah!u just think of urself,
have u ever thought of my feeling?
have u ever thought tat i might be emotionally disturbed too?
Im tired too.=(

Quoted from someone's blog.

I just asked you. to know you. to care about you.
I've forgotten about how you'd feel.
I know you are emotionally disturbed.
I do appologise.

Aint things gonna be better between both of us as FRIENDS?

What a girl wants?
What a girl needs?
A Truthful Heart?
A Phrase of Love?
The trust in a word of love?
Say it Louder to ME
Show it Again to Me

Relationships and Long Distance Relationship.

This is a blog post dedicated to someone whom only she knows.

As an introduction. Let me tell you some thoughts of me about love.
Love is Sacrifice, Understanding, Forgiving, Accepting, Loyality.

How much can you sacrifice for him/her?
How well you understand him/her?
Can you forgive and forget about his/her past or wrong doings?
Can you accept whoever and whatever he/she is?
How loyal can you be with him/her?

No people can do all above perfectly.
Just part of everyone of it but not all.
Two individuals are bonded together by a simple way communication.
its communication which really makes everything works.
how we talk, how we preach, how we share our life.

how we give and take from each other,
how we understand each other's wants and needs.

爱请能把两个人连牵。
但是要继续一段爱情,需要付出很多很多;
爱情的过程中 我们会成长，我们会变得更成熟 我们会去了解一个人。
他们的优点，他们的缺点。
我们都要知道，我们都要接受 因为他们的优点和缺点全部是美的。
我们所爱的人，他们的特征 他们的个性，我们是要接受的。
爱情不是完美无缺的。
爱情也不是我们所想到的那么甜蜜。
因为世界上没有东西是完美的。
但是如果两个人 体谅和包容对方 相信那段恋爱不只会是甜蜜 而且还会进下一个恋爱的阶段。
在爱情里我们所做的一切 都回影响到对方的感受 隐瞒，欺骗，出轨 这些事爱情里最大的敌人。
但是如果你对你的爱人有所信任及信心 你就会知道成熟恋爱真正的意义。

远距离爱情还存在吗？
出现在日韩剧中的爱情故事真的可能那么完美吗？
我们只能创造自己的爱情故事
我们的爱情之路是由自己来铺
我们对对方的付出，或许他们不知道，
但是
最后你所付出的他会睁开眼睛
他会珍惜吗？
自己想一想，一天，你失去了他们
伤害到的是谁？
爱情可以很简单
也可以边得很复杂。

Its Valentines days and also Chinese New Year.
Nothing beats the loneliness.
Having Lunch while people are spending time with family and their loves ones, while I’m eating lunch alone at Oldtown.
Meeting you at Oldtown is just another blessing.
You’d always make my day a better one.
A early present and a lovely hug could just make me smile.
How I wish you’re my girl.
Even the meeting is just less than a minute but, in the few seconds when we’re hugging, my heart just practically melted.
Thank You for everything. Love you as always.
I do wish i can ask you to be my girl, but I'm scared to ruin everything.
I do hope you'd notice and take the first step. I'm too afraid to ask you.

Valentines? How wonderful, without noticing we are celebrating another guy’s death without realizing how insulting it is to Mr. Valentine who died a few hundred years ago.. Well, any Tom, Dick and Harry can be romantic, why can’t their name be remember like Mr. Valentine? Even Ahmad, Ali and Abu with flowers be romantic with sugary words and chocolates.
Valentine another stupid man made celebrated event just like Christmas. When did you see a fat-white breaded grandpa come down from the chimney with present? Think logically ain’t he gonna stuck in the chimney instead of giving you a lovely present?
Just because Mr. Valentine died because he loved the daughter of someone with power and wealth in his place doesn’t 100% prove he is romantic right? This maybe just another political abuse from the renaissance period or even from the stone age. Mr. Valentine is just another victim of an political assassination period.
We are dumb enough to believe that he is romantic and even brainless to give roese to people who we love on this “romantic day” where its price ROSES. Flowers doesn’t mean love, flowers are just a another accessory or tool whom the Female population in this world deeply believe it is love.Ergo, we as the Male population are Required to send these romantic gifts to the Female counterpart.
Everyday is valentines if we deeply believe it is. Just treasure the people whom you love, care for them, keep in touch with them constantly even you’re far apart from them, shower them with surprises, love them sincerely, never let them go. That is how we humans shall be.

Nothing can change my feelings for you,
Nothing can stop me from loving you,
There is only one thing in this world can
make me stop loving you - You.
Its only been days, the most weeks I've know you,

Give me the key to you heart,
I'll walk into your heart;
Give me a chance to hold your hand,
I'll will hold it and never let go.

I've been dreaming about you,
I've thinking about you night and day,
You're in my head constantly.
Your smile makes me smile,

Let me have the chance to understand you,
Let me have the chance to fall for you,
Let me have the chance to take you hand,
Let me have the chance to care for you,
Let me have the chance to love you,

I like you the way you are,
I love you for who you are,
Loving you makes everything else doesn't even matters.

Imagining you at the beach with me.
Hoping you in the wedding dress,

I know,
I'm not the richest,
I'm not the best,
But
I do know
I will use my whole life to impress you,
I will shower you with countless surprises,
I will keep on loving you and only you.

I might make you cry,
I might make you sad,
I might hurt your heart,
But I will make you be the luckiest girl.

Please give me chance, thats all I ask from you...

Things I'd treasure slips away day by day...
People I'd care walks away day by day...
Why things are happening that way?

People that cared for me
People that loved me
They are the ones whom I always FUCK-ed Up the relationship.

They changed.
I Changed
Times have changed.
The feelings might not go away, yet it might.
Sorrow tears from the watery eyes.
Tears which aren't suppose to drop, dripped.
Heart that aren't suppose to break, broken.

How can I redeem myself from all these mistakes?
How can I make up to You?

Monga Taiwanese Gang Movie

Life aint that Dull....

When life seems to be bored and dull, have some space.. Move back several steps back.
You'd realise, How interesting your day can be in matter of hours.
Nothing sucks. Just how you spend your day.
Life your life people.
I've my peeps.
I've my Dears.
I've my niggas.
I've my Hawties.
I've my Hunks.
I've my Friends.
Who needs a lover when they have Peeps who can be for you everytime?

Some Pictures.. Iron Ship + Cat Walk

他的心在哪？Part 5 终结篇...

爱情，是他的一切...
爱情，是他的世界...
爱情，是他的使命...
爱情，是他的死穴...
爱情，是他的生命...
如今单身的外向男，到底真正爱谁，到底怎样？
外向男，他爱谁，他自己也不清楚...
他一直在寻找着，他爱的人和爱他的人...
只是，在他脑海里，一直浮现着一个问题
一直以来，他的恋情是和他爱的人谈恋爱，还是爱他的人谈恋爱呢？

他一直以来都有一个病，
忧郁症...
什么事都想过多
什么事都去关心
但是，有谁疼他，有谁爱他？
他因为自已打不出那倒问题，
有想不开很久很久了...

外向男，跨年那天，喝醉了...
在Jetty兴奋过度，有喝醉了，爬上了围墙，往海的反向跳了下去
很不幸，夜晚正是海水退潮的时刻，外向男跳下去是，撞上了大石和珊瑚，
流血过多不幸地在2010年1月1号地丧生了....

多少人关心他？
多少人疼爱他呢？

他的心在哪？Part 4 Charis篇

跨年...倒数，烟花...倒是少了什么？？外向男那在自己问自己。“对了！就是少了一个爱人”外向男自己回答自己。
和一群朋友，去码头看烟火，倒数，喝酒，欢乐，打桌球...这是一个很好的一个跨年的一晚...突然，外向男自己觉得很自卑；点了2010的那第一支烟，回想着....

时间：高中,与Carmen分手数月后

单身了，外向男在高中的生活也充满了压力和烦恼。虽然如此，他还是过着一个精彩，有趣，匆忙的生活。
突然有一天，学校来了一位转学生，单纯，傻傻地踏入校门，Charis是她的名字。 遇见Charis，就像进入了梦幻的世界，没有压力，没有烦恼；一切复杂的事都变得简单去...外向男一直在寻找联络Charis的方法，从朋友拿到了傻傻的她的手提号码...外向男便给Ｃｈａｒｉｓ一个信息，问她能交个朋友吗？Ｃｈａｒｉｓ没发现到外向男的真正目的是要追求她便答应了外向男来交个朋友．．．一天，一个星期，一个月过了．．外向男和Ｃｈａｒｉｓ相处的时间虽然只是天天谈天和约会几次，外向男决定问Ｃｈａｒｉｓ能不能交往，Ｃｈａｒｉｓ便答应了．．．与Ｃｈａｒｉｓ相处的时间，有如初恋，傻傻地，单纯地．．．因为爱火热烈地燃烧，两人，傻傻地，慢慢地，尝试了，偷吃了禁果，有了亲热生活．．．．一个月，两个月，三个月已经过去了，甜蜜地他们俩，隐藏着黑暗的秘密．．．Ｃｈａｒｉｓ尽然是有另一个男友！隐瞒了外向男３个月．．．受不起打击的外向男与Ｃｈａｒｉｓ吵架，争吵了起来．．．哭哭啼啼的两人，虽然恩爱，但是知道不能够在谈恋爱了．．．这就是，外向男和Ｃｈａｒｉｓ的结局．．．．

吸完了烟，一杯酒来冲淡一切的回忆．．．外向男继续跟朋友高高兴兴地跨年．．．

他的心在哪？Part 3 Eileen篇

喝完了咖啡...外向男打算回家休息...上车了，才发现市区里traffic jam...没办法外向男必须容忍缓慢行驶的车辆...收音机所播放的情歌，外向男在车上看见街边一对一对的情侣。令他想起他在大学时发生的感情故事。

“国中毕业了，外向男到了吉隆坡上大学，因为他不想打工...一到了大学的第一个学期，外向男发现大学里的生活不一样了..但是，外向男很巧合地认识到甜美的Eileen，Eileen是那种男人必爱的那一型的女生..甜美，可爱，逗人的喜爱的女生...从认识到喜欢，外向男的大学生活都有Eileen的存在...上课，午餐，晚餐，读书，逛逛，他们都时时刻刻在一起欢度过大学生活。所以，有一天，外向男提起他所有的勇气，问了Eileen能不能交往。Eileen却说：“对不起，我不是单身了。”后来外向男发现，Eileen早已就喜欢上他了，她就是一直等待外向男问那个问题但是外向男没有，所以，在不久前，Eileen也认识一个在她家乡的一位男孩，那位男孩比外向男更早一步问Eileen，所以Eileen一口就答应了他，停止等待外向男的Proposal...Eileen他有要和外向男谈恋爱，但是一切都太迟了...哭的都哭了几天，泪水流了就个夜晚，失眠也失眠到黑眼圈加深了..过了几个星期，是大学的Finals，他们俩不再一起吃饭，一起读书，停止联络...过了Finals就是Semester break，外向男与Eileen没有说再见，各自回自己的家乡...

事后，外向男再也没遇见Eileen着甜美的女孩了...两人的遇见和分散，友情无缘，相爱的人分散了...
他们能够再次重逢，再次有恋爱的机会吗?"

一声BEEEE,使到外向男清醒回...外向男顿时掉了一丝丝的泪水继续驾着车回家....

他的心在哪？Part 2 Carmen篇

吸完烟后，外向男到他时常去的咖啡馆喝咖啡。在Dataran Pahlawan的Calanthe Art Cafe，外向男叫了一杯Melaka Kopi O Peng.顿时，想起Carmen....

Carmen是外向男的另一个女友，成熟稳重，魅力十足。Carmen与外向男谈恋爱的期间是外向男与Christine后的一年多。单身的外向男与朋友到了云顶高原渡过假期。由于外向男是随着旅行团到云顶，外向男便认识了Carmen。
但是，当时因为知道Carmen大外向男8个月，外向男对Carmen没有什么兴趣。数月后，外向男收到一封信息。
是从Carmen来的信息。当时，Carmen刚分手，需要人来吐苦水。外向男就随着Carmen吐苦水。
不知不觉，外向男对Carmen产生好感，并喜欢上了Carmen。外向男发觉，Carmen虽然表面是坚强的，但是内心里Carmen是有一个脆弱的心。于是，外向男决定要保护Carmen的心。把Carmen抱在怀中，用双手庇护着Carmen。
很遗憾，外向男和Carmen恩爱，成熟，甜蜜与快乐的恋爱不持久。近在外向男生日时，Carmen提分手。
外向男觉得好好的恋爱为什么就要结束呢？Carmen说：“对不起，我不能接受姐弟恋”。Carmen对外向男没有安全感，没有大男人的感觉。一直以来，Carmen对外向男表示的爱是一个姐姐对弟弟的爱。Carmen欺骗了自己，也欺骗了外向男。受伤害的两人哭啼已经太迟了。分手后，还能挽回吗？

在外向男的生日时，Carmen带了意大利面和通心粉到外向男的家一起庆祝外向男的生日和渡过最后情侣的一天。
吃完之后，Carmen眼睛含泪水地，默默地给外向男一个舌吻。这个舌吻，是他们之间的第一个吻，也是他们最后的一个吻。亲完了之后，外向男再也没见到Carmen了。外向男对Carmen是一个陌生人了。不再联络的他们，会有机会再在一起吗？

他的心在哪？Part 1 Christine篇

一个外向男，一个人走在街上孤独走着，手上的那支烟慢慢燃烧着。
烟一口一口地慢慢吸烟一面想起。为什么他要抽烟？？
压力吗？朋友吗？ 后来他才发觉自己抽烟是因为在他自己身上所发生的事情。
他的恋情从没有一次有好的结果。想起他单身了这么久缺少了是什么？
看着街上一对一对的情侣，他才知觉，自己少了一段恋情，少了爱情。
对于这个外向男，这是他的期望，他的需求。他想要被疼爱，关心，拥抱。这很难吗？？
当时，他对自己说：“我被骗，我被玩，我被耍，我被劈腿，不过真心的爱情总有一天会打动到一个女生的心。不然世界上不会有那么多情侣。爱情是有代价的。牺牲，疼爱，关心，体谅，宽容，包涵，体会，原谅；少了这一切，世界上不会有爱。”

不知不觉，外向男就想起到自己和几位女生的过去。

Michelle。等足了一年的女生。是puppy love还是illusion？

外向男不知不觉陶醉地慢慢想起他的过去。
外向男记得，第一次在补习班认识了Christine这个小甜心。依靠短讯和上线msn外向男慢慢地更了解Christine。
Christine是一个心灵复杂的小甜心。脸蛋可爱的她，看了就会让外向男心动。外向男自己觉得爱上了Christine。
外向男决定追Christine了，因为Christine这个小甜心太太太吸引外向男的注目。Christine最后也成为了外向男的女友。他们两过了半年的甜蜜恩爱的时刻。但是，有一天，外向男因为一个小误会打破了小甜心Christine的心。

想起Christine的事让外向男不但眼泪留下，心也不断在痛。因为与Christine后几年外向男有意再追回Christine，而且发誓不再从犯自己以前的错误。最后她拒绝了外向男，与另一位男生谈恋爱。
Christine还恨着外向男吗？难道，付出了一切，外向男还是不能补回所对Christine带来的伤害和泪水吗？

2010

Another Has Passed. Another Year of Loneliness.
Another year of fun. Another year of Despair.

1st of January is just another day of the year of another year of years to come.

2010 shall be better for me I guess.

Resolution of 2010

Get more time for photo shooting
Get more time for clubbing
Get more time for hanging out with peeps
Get more time for my little projects.
Save more money.